Monday, March 8, 2010

self-discovery walk...

     Every Monday, at least till August, I spend an hour with my favorite person of the moment, my therapist.  Besides being wonderful to look at she's really smart and loving.  Last week I went in there and told her I was angry that she is moving on (Dallas... long story).  This Monday I told her I was really, really sad and afraid that I will not ever find someone like her again.  Instead of fixing me, Bean allows my tears room to exist, makes a little container for them to pool up into.  Reminds me to be gentle to little Yoyo.  After an hour of her most exquisite attention I return to the sidewalk for a blustery walk down to allann bros for lunch.   I get 2 maybe 3 blocks down the street and find the first mini miracle of a psyche that's been cleansed.

         Someone has made beautiful art (I'm calling it Flowering Hubcaps) with hubcaps and bicycle chains and adhered it to the side of a building.  Love that sprocket on the bottom perhaps signifying that it is all run by bicycle.
     Just before entering Allann Bros I imagine that I see my friend Maram on her bicycle coming home from school and (having just past a theatre where the Hurt Locker is playing) adding to that imaginary scenario that we have a few moments of face to face and I suggest we see it together.  "I'll buy," I say in my moment that never happens.  Instead I walk into Allann Bros., order my favorite panini and Assam tea, then wander about for a table, with my 'side of soy' precariously balanced on top of my cup of Assam.
     After lunch I head up Fifth street and though I have seen this house hundreds of times before, the lighting is making it stand out more then usual today.
     I post it on FB via my Pixster application noting how the white magnolia blossoms are scattered around the stark black volcanic rocks.  By now I have noticed I am almost a completely different person than the one who set out just a few hours ago.  My psyche has done what I call a '180'.
      I continue up 5th street and because I don't really want to hear the traffic I turn south onto Tyler.  It is not my usual way home so even without really looking for, I am sure to find more 'mini miracles'.  After a treacherous crossing of hwy 99 I come across a mailbox full of surprises.

     It's a mailbox for an apartment bldg that has been plastered with words from a few different Magnetic Poetry kits.  Being who I am in that moment I decide to stay for awhile and play...
......knowing tomorrow it will be re-arranged again by perhaps even the postal person.  Is this just a simple way to keep one worker from going postal?  The poetry kit gets the best and the worst of me with a few simple re-arrangements....

Above can certainly be said to be better than below....

But perhaps it is the appearance of the "P" word that has me judging.  Or perhaps the "I feel no children feed".  Whatever; (I flip my hand in my San Francisco accent) it was fun enough to get me home with some new ideas about how to proceed on a piece I am doing....  and a fun little blog entry to share with all of you. 


  1. Sounds like your day had ups and downs...thankfully you found beauty even in the midst of the lows. Thanks for sharing.

  2. love this entry... reframe!! sometimes isn't that just what life requires of you to make it through the day?


  3. most definitely Risa and liz.... thanks for your comments... it's also what i love about walking.... makes a new woman out of me..