Day two of my journey to the inside has me revisiting the same time period (the months leading up to my TBI). The first piece has the temporary title of 'Ignoring Myself'. It is a collage using several handwritten fragments, some cut outs, and a lot of oil based pastels which I scratched back into to get to previous layers. It is mounted onto an oak cabinet door (doors seem particularly relevant for this series of collages.)
Again there are two entities, one a shadow looking away, the other with red spikes coming from the area of the heart. I really didn't like this piece when I did it (was I trying to ignore it's blatant message?), but now that I have the benefit of 3 years distance and a radical change in perspective, both the yellow/pink/gray/lime pallet and the subject matter strike me as raw and real, especially when I consider what the piece was trying to say. Although I drew the four green lines coming out of the right side of the head as hair, after my TBI the meaning of the lines changed to a head about to explode. It's hard to see in the photo but written where a mouth would be are the words 'my head'.
The next piece has a similar feel. The large vacant space between the pieces of the head, the black/white contrast between the hair and the handwritten letter behind it and the numbers from a game of Bingo all indicate a desire to be pointed in (the right) direction.
The sold tag on the bottom of the figure and the bright red placed around the edges reminds me of the anger I was feeling at the time. I was yearning for the edge of a city, either Portland or San Fransisco, and the stimulation those cityscapes had to offer me. I felt trapped in the 'good deal' of a single family dwelling here in Eugene, though I had not lived in one for many years. It struck me particularly hard during this time period because an artist community I was interested in buying into (Milepost 5 in Portland) was just going on the market.
That's it for today. Thanks so much for reading. I have a few more pieces from this time period to post which I will do once I get them framed and photographed.
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