self-discovery walk...

     Every Monday, at least till August, I spend an hour with my favorite person of the moment, my therapist.  Besides being wonderful to look at she's really smart and loving.  Last week I went in there and told her I was angry that she is moving on (Dallas... long story).  This Monday I told her I was really, really sad and afraid that I will not ever find someone like her again.  Instead of fixing me, Bean allows my tears room to exist, makes a little container for them to pool up into.  Reminds me to be gentle to little Yoyo.  After an hour of her most exquisite attention I return to the sidewalk for a blustery walk down to allann bros for lunch.   I get 2 maybe 3 blocks down the street and find the first mini miracle of a psyche that's been cleansed.

         Someone has made beautiful art (I'm calling it Flowering Hubcaps) with hubcaps and bicycle chains and adhered it to the side of a building.  Love that sprocket on the bottom perhaps signifying that it is all run by bicycle.
     Just before entering Allann Bros I imagine that I see my friend Maram on her bicycle coming home from school and (having just past a theatre where the Hurt Locker is playing) adding to that imaginary scenario that we have a few moments of face to face and I suggest we see it together.  "I'll buy," I say in my moment that never happens.  Instead I walk into Allann Bros., order my favorite panini and Assam tea, then wander about for a table, with my 'side of soy' precariously balanced on top of my cup of Assam.
     After lunch I head up Fifth street and though I have seen this house hundreds of times before, the lighting is making it stand out more then usual today.

 

     I post it on FB via my Pixster application noting how the white magnolia blossoms are scattered around the stark black volcanic rocks.  By now I have noticed I am almost a completely different person than the one who set out just a few hours ago.  My psyche has done what I call a '180'.

      I continue up 5th street and because I don't really want to hear the traffic I turn south onto Tyler.  It is not my usual way home so even without really looking for, I am sure to find more 'mini miracles'.  After a treacherous crossing of hwy 99 I come across a mailbox full of surprises.

     It's a mailbox for an apartment bldg that has been plastered with words from a few different Magnetic Poetry kits.  Being who I am in that moment I decide to stay for awhile and play...

 

......knowing tomorrow it will be re-arranged again by perhaps even the postal person.  Is this just a simple way to keep one worker from going postal?  The poetry kit gets the best and the worst of me with a few simple re-arrangements....

Above can certainly be said to be better than below....

But perhaps it is the appearance of the "P" word that has me judging.  Or perhaps the "I feel no children feed".  Whatever; (I flip my hand in my San Francisco accent) it was fun enough to get me home with some new ideas about how to proceed on a piece I am doing....  and a fun little blog entry to share with all of you. 

Artist Trading Card Swap at MECCA...

     It's the last Saturday in February and for the first time in several months I made it to the Artist Trading Card Swap at MECCA.  I made a 'good haul' (at least in my book).  I went there with 10 ATCs and came home with 8 new ones.  Following is a picture of each and a little blurb about the person I traded with.
     First Mija finally gave up her marlboro card...

Even though I am no longer a smoker I still have a weakness for tobacco packaging and memorabilia.  I traded a card that I had gotten a few months ago from one of the few men who showed up.  It was a card with holes in it, all wired for sound 'so to speak'.  Mija had her eyes on it immediately.  Next I traded with Carole aka CRAY....

It's titled 'Roam'.  I have traded with Carole several times before but normally she has something from the 40's like ration tickets or old ads.  This was a bit different and hopefully will remind me to roam a little more.   Next, I see we had a pro here (meaning she trades on ATCsforALL.com).  

This one is titled 'She Wore a Hat' and someday when I have more time to dedicate to this mine too will have titles and signatures.  I like the 3 women in this one and the placement of the lettering.  

Next I traded with another woman I have not had the pleasure of meeting before.  Her name is Dianne and her card had an image of Ayn Rand on it.....

Along with a little quote from her.  We both agreed (being about the same age) that when we were in our late teens we thought of Ayn Rand as one of our heroes. Since then, having developed a more mature and liberal point of view, we have both abandoned our idolization of her.  Still the card gave us a 'talking point'.  Next I traded with Mindy who I have seen at Saturday morning coffee and the ATC swap a few times.

    It's entitled 'Solar' and is hand drawn on a red construction paper.  Mindy spends a fair amount of time doodling or so it would seem.  I suppose I should have taken pictures of the different cards I traded away but I didn't.  I did however make a special little series just for this Swap.  Somewhere long ago in my travels through trashcans, garage sales, thrift stores and occasional 'street trades' I came across an original booklet for a Barbie doll.  It was clearly marked 'copyright 1960'.  I love the simple line drawings for what was soon to become one of the most opulent ad campaigns ever.  Check it out...

I cut out some words from a french feminist and each card got a little piece of the paragraph.   We will see if I get more takers next month.   The last two ATCs are from the same young man.  His name is Dustin and judging from his looks I suspect he is from U of O.  Check out these great little drawings done with sharpies. 

I am pretty sure Dustin didn't make it home with even one of his own cards.  Everyone was pretty excited to trade with him.  The one above is entitled 'Wormwood'.  The other one I traded for is called "Pink Floyd was Playing"

     You don't have to be artsy to come to the ATC Swap at MECCA.  All are welcome.  It happens the last Saturday of the month and is an easy way to meet and trade with other folks who like to fool around with collage, drawing, computer art and semi-sculptural mixed media.  Really there is only one rule and that is the size....  (2.5 x 3.5 or a 'normal' trading card size).  We start at 11 am and usually go for just an hour or sometimes an hour and a half.  Hope to see you there next time.  xoyo

Aftermath of the show ... musing on Heartwork...

    I remember telling my therapist the Monday before the valentine's show that I was extremely anxious about it (it was to be the first real show I have done since my head injury more than 2 years ago).  There was a hint, even on that Monday, that one of my pieces MIGHT be on the cover of our local alternative newspaper.  Still, I was suddenly frightened I would not have enough hearts to go around and because I had been working non-stop for two months I was too tired to make anymore.
    My therapist in her ever so wise way mentioned I was adding to my own torment with this useless anxiety.  Being my own worst enemy, AGAIN.  (Turns out I had one heart left... perfect!  one for me!)
    I have had a week to calm down now and get back to more of a normal routine.  Back to my volunteer gig 3 days a week and back in the saddle of my bicycle as often as possible.

    
     Of course I am thinking of ways I can do it better next year.  Often while I am out riding with the music singing in my ears I can see in my imagination 'heartwork' I want to attempt.  The winged heart did not have a lot of fans this year so maybe next year I can come up with a better design.

      3 dimensional hearts have been re-occurring often ...especially a tortured heart splitting open or with a crack in the center.....

 The more anatomically correct Mexican heart with fire has been 'swimming about in the back of my 

psyche' too.

 

     So we will see what comes next....   

      On a final note I want to thank everyone who either bought a heart from me or supported me in my first (post traumatic brain injury) show.  I feel very blessed that the Eugene Weekly used one of my pieces for their cover and I even wrote in to say "hey, that would be one way to make Eugene more artzy every week.. put a local person's art on the cover".  

It is sure to be a more heart-centered year....even if those hearts are primarily in my sketch book or the heart table.

February 11th, 2010.

     I have long been dreading this day, February 11th 2010.  It marks the one year anniversary that I heard from an "ex" via email asking if we might be friends.  I, still feeling anger from an incident that had occurred the last time we saw each other, responded with an email asking for an apology.  Of course I never heard from her again.
     And the February 11th before that I was 'two months out' from a near fatal head injury, screaming at two people I care deeply for "Why didn't you just let me die!!!"  Obviously the meds needed a little adjustment.
     But February 11th 2010 the gauds decided perhaps I could use a little love from the universe.  I woke up to the news that a heart piece I had created was on the cover of our local alternative paper, the Eugene Weekly.  Suddenly February 11th became one of my favorite days of the year so far.  The dreadful depression I have been a slave to for more years than I care to remember seems to be better managed this year (thanks to exercise and 2000 units of vitamen D a day.  And the remorse of 'a love best left undone' seems to have relocated itself (at least this week). 

 

     For this February 11th I am celebrating loving myself better each day.  (Yeah it's a few days early but that doesn't really matter).  And the better I love myself, the better I can spread that love around to others in my life.  When the day arrives that a special someone comes along she will not be the type to 'kick me to the curb'.   She will not be partnered to a substance of which I will always fail against.  And I will not feel like I am licking the floor for scraps whenever I want and/or need attention.  

     No, I am going to start using February 11th as the day to plan my own special Valentine.   A day to do some real Heartwork of a very special and personal nature.  Perhaps making nuno-felted hearts everyday for the last two months (in preparation for the Valentine's show) has left me lighter in my head.  It has definitely left me lighter in spirit.  It feels good to be letting the love in and spreading it around like one would spread seeds in a garden.  It feels especially good when I give myself a delicious, juicy hug and say 'I Love You'.   Like a gently raised kid I am eating it up cause it really is good for me. 

Julie's 50th B-day party...

I am diverting here for a posting to do a mini blog entry of Julie's party last night.  If you didn't go or don't know these people there are some unusual photos taken w/o the flash.  If you went you might be able to find yourself in some of the photos. 

Above is the party girl dancing with one of my best friends Suzie.

This is Julie, the b-day girl and Sandy her partner sharing a cocktail with a weird little LED lite in it...  ... one of my fav photos of the night. 

Below is the fabulous Elena talking to a couple of ghosts......

Then there was the disco ball installed for the evening in the skylight, swirling light vibrations like happiness energy throughout the room.

Lots of good friends just hanging in the kitchen area...Pam Mathis, who i haven't seen in forever talking with Penelope who is standing next to Carole talking to Suzie... so good to see everyone having a good time... 

By the end it was a beautiful blur of lights dancing in the ethers ...

More Valentine's...

As promised I took a few more pictures today.  The first one is of the scarf I made last night.  In my humble opinion it did indeed turn out to be a winner.  here's the picture: 

 

What I like best about nuno felting (and what makes all that hand washing worth it) is the texture it creates on the silk.  This piece of silk has a beautiful lustre to it and thus the texture looks almost like ripples in a pond.  Here's a close up:

This scarf is also longer than my other ones (and lighter weight too)... great for spring or autumn wear.

I also took some pictures of the pendants I am working on.  First one is a sterling heart set in a silver plated box and strung on rayon with a magnetic box closure.  Here's the picture:

The next one is similar but it is a handblown glass bead with a matching lime bead on the top and both are also set in a silver plated box pendant.  This one however is on a chain.

The next piece is an african red heart bead (more anatomically correct than our hearts) set on a silk strand.  A gold rose was E-6000-ed to the front and small matching african red beads w/black glass czech beads complement the pendant. 

Next is a pendant made w/a steampunk button, a victorian reproduction heart and a small sterling goddess charm hanging from the bottom.  It is strung on black artificial sinue and accented with black glass spiral beads and vintage white-hearts (they are actually red beads with white centers).

I made one other thing which is a winged heart, nuno and needle-felted with a cord hanging from a card.  You can leave it on the card or remove it and hang on the wall or leave it on the card and set it in a frame.  It features a reproduction of a brass button that was popular in the early 1900's.

That's enough for now... I will be posting more regularly up until the sale in hopes of getting you to come out and join us for a good time and some valentine's treats.  Even though I am official single I buy myself and some friends a Valentine's every year.  After all the holiday is basically about Love in the many forms it takes.  What could be better than that?

Valentines is just around the corner....

...and I am making Mixed Media Hearts using handmade nuno felt, vintage skeleton keys and an assortment of beads.  They are hard to describe so here's a picture: 

Each one of them is going to be very different, perhaps symbolizing something that you love...

 I am also making them into hands since not everyone likes hearts.  Each one has an old skeleton key needlefelted into it and a strand of beads or a button or some other embellishment.

 They come on a blank card with an envelope so you can use them as a card or if you remove them you can hang it on a wall or in the window.  You can also use the card as a canvas and frame them.  All this for only 18 dollars.

I am also making some new scarves for spring-ish weather.  They are not as heavy as the winter scarves I made for Holiday Market.  They are still nuno felted onto a hand dyed silk chiffon substrate.  Here's a picture of what I have so far:

deep red and gold on a brown silk chiffon

Pink and green on a burgundy silk substrate:

I am making a few pendants too using some very old skeleton keys, steam punk buttons and various odds and ends that I have collected over the years.  Here's a few pictures:

And another one...

The sale starts Friday, Feb 12th at Susan Klein's studio on 2nd street.  I will send out more details as we get closer to the date.  Meanwhile save some time on Valentine's weekend to come shopping.  Friday nite we will have wine and probably some chocolate, Saturday we will serve some cookies and Sunday afternoon we are doing a tea with the artists.  Thanks for reading and I hope to see you in Febuary.     xoxoyo